OMGZ, new Hold Steady Song!

"Moves In The Mourning"

VERSE 1 (opens with AC/DC + Social Distortion riff)
My dad was a CFO
now I'm headlining with MIA
I turned my problem into a persona
then trotted it out onstage

CHORUS (Riff makes room for piano and busier bassline)
Now I can't hold my hand steady
before the first drink of the morning
She slouches up from a stranger's couch
and moves like she's in mourning

VERSE 2
He listened to the LFO
but the kids called him Diamond Dave
He shuddered like Dustin Diamond
when the drugs made the whole party look like a sex tape

CHORUS
Now he can't hold his hand steady
before the first drink of the morning
She's bolt upright on a stranger's couch
screaming like an early warning

BRIDGE (with either prominent Piano or handclaps)
she starts to lurch
like she was back in church
or just a stoned celebrity

she could'be looked worse
in a half mast skirt
then she stared back at me

CHORUS 2x, with with either backing vocals or a descending minor key version of the piano line, then we're out

PS: This is an homage/parody, appropo of the AV Club thread on the new album. Feel free to lie to your friends that it's real though...